Mormon Walk of Shame

Today I completed the Mormon Walk of Shame. For those of you unaware that's when you forget that your ward is having some sort of conference and you miss church. You show up at the building on time and you're there...all alone...all dressed up with no where to go. 

I haven't really been to church in a while. Last week I was sick, the week before that I was exhausted and only stayed for an hour, and the week before that I was brand new and was all flustered. Naturally, I was pretty determined when I woke up this morning to make it to church. However, being, as I was, sick last week I missed the memo on Stake Conference being today. So I figured I'd be really clever and look up the time and place of the meeting on my phone while in the church parking lot. Now, despite having a website and a facebook page, my ward's not great about getting information out there. I couldn't even find an announcement for it. So I got the brilliant idea to use my LDS Tools app and look it up there. Turns out I forgot my password. Half an hour later I'd finally managed to change my password to something that the website approved of. Mine was "too easy to guess". Gotta be honest, not real worried about evil hackers getting into my LDS Tools account. But I digress.

Anyway I looked up my ward website and all I could find was the time of Stake Conference: right now. After a long search I realized that I'd never find the building and decided to just go to a different ward. That's the funny thing about not being in Utah anymore, pretty much everywhere within driving distance is part of the same Stake, so nowhere was having church. Eventually I just drove home.

On the way I thought about how frustrating it was that I'd worked so hard, and was all dressed up and ready to go to church but there was no church. Then I thought, "I got ready for church and I'm gonna go to SOME type of church". So I looked up Cathedrals and it turned out there was one right around the corner from me and it had a Mass starting at 11:00. I figured there was at least one meeting that I could make it to so why not? I'd already parked outside St. Patrick's when I remembered, I hate Mass. I'll have to go back some time when there was no meeting planned so I can look at the artwork.


So here I am. In a dress, sitting on my couch, ready to go nowhere. And while I know that I'm the only one who knows that I just Walk of Shame'd, it's still a little embarrassing.

Movie-paloosa

So when I had the flu this last week (which, by the way, I have never had before) I understood for the first time the utter inability to get out of bed. Never in my life have I been so completely without energy. I didn't even have the strength to read or to play video games while watching tv as usual. The only thing I did have the strength to do was watch tv. And tv. And tv. Here, to the best of my cough syrup stained memory, is the list:


What a Girl Wants - Girly, girly feel good. Didn't watch the end though...lost interest when she got boring. Missed my favorite line, actually, the "Get your hands off my daughter or you won't get a scene you'll get a Broadway musical.".


Drop Dead Diva: Season 1 - Great, great series. My first time, don't know if there's a second season. Skinny model gets trapped in fat girl's body and tries to deal. Funny, poignant and explains why one girl in college took an instant hating to me. I confess, I did body check (Diva style) her.


Doctor Who: Christmas Invasion - Ah, the Christmas specials. This one's set on the spaceship Titanic. Guess how it ends. What I really want to know is what happened to Russell T. Davies (the writer) in younger life to give him such agnst against angels. Angels = Evil.


Merlin: Season 1 - I've decided to go for a Nimue inspired look (last time I did inspired looks, I chose Robin Hood and it turned out great). I'm working on the hair rolled back but not as funky looking.


Eureka: Season 1 - I hate to say this people, I'm just not that into it. It's interesting, I guess...


Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason - Accident really, meant to put in the original, too tired to change it.


Penelope - Love the scarf! Love the McAvoy!


Ivanhoe - It's like if you took Camelot, undid the musical and tried to make it a racial drama. Gotta love that Anthony Andrews, though. I can totally see why they cast him as the SP.


Nancy Drew - They made Nancy a total dweeb in this remake! I still like it. Rachel Leigh Cook is awesome.


The Karate Kid (Remake) - Didn't actually finish this one. Just got to the point where Mr. Miyagi was going to go face the bad teacher nemesis and just kinda...drifted away. I'll probably finish at some point. Is it just me, or is Mini-Will really tiny for a twelve year old?


On the Double - Danny Kaye stars in the original of Dave! Yes, "Go, go, go!" is a remake, folks! It's set during World War 2, and follows the "We need people to think the leader is somewhere else so you'll double, and oops, here's his semi-estranged wife, but that's okay, she's on your side, ends with kiss" storyline. I'll all for more Danny in whatever form it comes.

Castle - Never disappoints!

Chuck - Really, really disappointed. But, I'm hoping they UN-jump the shark now that they've got what looks like a steady villian on the way and are giving Casey something to do besides passively mope. He should never passively anything.


So that was a Friday evening to a Monday evening. Can't say it was fun, but at least I'm closer to caught up...

Be Warned!

I find myself recently being drawn towards cautionary tales.

Well, let me rephrase that, I like the cautionary part of the cautionary tale. I mean, have you ever read Austenland? It's a book about how there's a Jane Austen theme park and you live this fake life and our heroine goes to it with rapture and then realizes how it's all empty and she wants imperfection in her life, and you, like her, are supposed to see the danger of ideals. When I finished I just saw that I really, really, really wanted to go to Austenland. I mean, of course it's fake. That's the point! You don't really want to brush your teeth with chalk, do you? It's also cool! A dream come true! Nobody wants to live there forever, that's why it's a park and not a community! Enjoy the ride, sister.

And then Adipose. In Season 4 of Doctor Who (with Donna, the best companion ever) there's a new diet craze in London. It's called Adipose and it makes the fat just "get up and walk away". All you have to do is take one pill a day, don't change your habits at all, and you lose exactly one pound of fat. But as it turns out, the pill makes your fat solidify into a baby alien being totally able to walk, talk and think, just composed entirely of fat. Of course, if you see the Adipose the firm has to kill you because you know the secret and will run screaming away from the pill and tell everyone. All I have to say is, WHO CARES?!! They could turn my fat into a car park if they liked. Do you have any idea how well that would work? And besides, if I can donate something I'm not using and turn it into a bouncing, baby, bundle of joy--well, there's my good deed for the day, isn't it? It's not like the babies themselves are at all dangerous. I get to feel good about myself and lose weight! And every time I ate something unhealthy I could just say, "There's for a poor baby Adipose that wants to born".

Whenever some mage/mystic/genie says "Be careful what you wish for..." I just want to say "Bring it on!" I will take wishes with weird consequences over regular life, any day.

Whyza?

Since one of you has expressed interest and I'm a sucker for attention, allow me to explain:

It was two years and a half since I moved to Salt Lake I was feeling like it was time to get going again, but I didn't have everything set to jump the pond yet. Work was getting really unpleasant because of a coworker who had decided to hate my guts and was REALLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYY obvious about it. Then, out of the blue around Thanksgiving, our North Carolina office called up and asked to come out. Since it meant a promotion, change and freedom from tyranny I thought, why the heck not? Besides, I get to be close to my cousins out here. Things didn't really get settled (especially with the Salt Lake office) until mid December, so everything moved really quickly--and that's why all of you didn't find out until then.

Still looking for a roommate if any of you are interested. I plan on flying up to New York at least twice a year, if that helps your decision. If you can just visit, stay with me anyway. And bring a tv. It's still a bit sparse here :)

My New Life

Hi everyone!

So many blog worthy things happened in the last two weeks, I'm hoping that they'll continue...or at least you'll pity me enough to keep looking at this.

Well, here's what I've learned about Charlotte, North Carolina so far:
 -It's nicknamed the Queen City. Everybody you ask will tell you that they were told why once, but they don't remember. I looked it up and it's in honor of a German princess who married King..John of England? I knew once, but I can't remember.
-They put strips of sticky, gooey paper around trees, I've yet to ascertain why.
-They have a Trader Joe's.
-Everything is a lot smaller and less fancy than in the West.
-They have parks that knock the socks off of the West's. All the public places are better, actually.
-They play "Lucky Star" on the radio an inordinate amount of time.

All for now. We'll see what tomorrow brings.