Decisions

So, I suppose now's the time to catch y'all up on my life for real.

The reason I haven't been writing is because I was planning on quitting my job, and I really couldn't say anything about my life without mentioning that. But, we are now done, I have not only put in my notice, but also finished my 2 weeks. Since most of you already know why, I won't rehash too much, but suffice it to say that my boss and I are still on good terms, but it just seemed like time to move on. After all, it had been 3 years.

Now I'm looking for something to keep me solvent until August when I get to move to LONDON! I applied to the University of Nottingham and King's College London in 2 programs. And as much as I love Nottingham (I mean, it's NOTTINGHAM) I realized that the program was just not suited to me. Which is really a shame, because it's about 65% cheaper to live in Nottingham compared to London. I applied to KCL in Medieval Studies and Theatre Studies because I want to continue on to Dramaturgy (history for theatre)/theatre museums and eventually teaching. I'm still waiting to hear on Nottingham (they just received the last of my documents), but I interviewed today with the Theatre program, and I was accepted to the Medieval Studies! I feel pretty strongly towards the Medieval Studies, first because it's an excellent program, and secondly because the head of the department went to so much effort to get to know me. If she's willing to put this much time into a candidate, I know I'll have a great support system there. The Theatre department was a) impressed and interested by my application (I believe the word "captivating" was bandied about) but b) focuses in on a theory of theatre that doesn't mesh as much with what I've done before. Liability or asset?


If you know me well, then the answer to your next question is, no, I'm not taking him with me. As much as I would love taking Nigel with me (to the point that I even got him ready for his kitty passport), I realized that I need to be focusing on school, and I'll feel horrible if I leave him alone in a tiny, dark flat all day. Luckily, Liz, my roomie, has agreed to keep him. I'm so happy that they love each other. After all, she doesn't flail about in her sleep, so he actually gets to stay on the bed with her.


So yay. Everything's out in the open now. I like feeling like I can talk about things. Especially since I talk so much regardless.

I get kissed by a "little person"; or, "Down Home Country 2"

So I went back to the country, aka Ninety-Six, SC. My roomie and I both had a weekend off, so we decided to relax. Good news! No more cicadas!!!! The locust are gone!!!!!!!! I got to swing on the tree swing!!

We arrived Saturday night and spent the evening eating, talking and watching Connie & Carla. If you haven't seen it , I highly recommend it. As Liz's mom said, it was the best laugh she'd had in a long time.

Then next morning we went to church a little early because we were singing in the choir. Yes that's right, we were singing. In. The. Choir. They needed help and apparently the choir director heard Liz was coming home for the weekend. So when we got there, remember how I said last time that everybody descended on Liz? This time, I got included. Everybody remembered me too, so I got the same "How have you been?", "What have you been up to?", "It's so good to see you again!". On the way in this sweet little woman grabbed me and went for the mouth, but I turned at the last moment. This would say "kissed by a midget" but apparently that's an offensive term. But calling them "little people", like a leprechaun, is apparently correct and kind. I guess that's just the way it is. And to be honest, I don't think she was a little person. She was just hobbit-sized.

That afternoon we also went to Star Fort, and me being me, I jumped into the middle of the ruins. Well, site. The part that I found the funniest is that the British were stuck inside, surrounded by Rebs, while there was a perfectly lovely settlement of the Britisher's families not half a mile away. How strange would it have been to be that close but have it be like different worlds? And points for the Southerners for not just attacking the villagers and then picking off the British one by one as they came out that ridiculously tiny door.

I got to meet a lot of Liz's nieces and nephews. Now, with 5 nieces of my own, I'm pretty used to hearing "What does the kitty say?" or "How does the piggy talk?" but until I went down there, I've never heard those followed up by "How does the gator go?" Among the family were Liz's super Southern sister-in-law and retinue, with the cutest Southern manners I've ever seen. For example, Hayden, 5ish I think, turned to her aunt and said "Carrie, may I have a glass of water please?" Her mother immediately turned and said "What did you just say?!" to which her daughter immediately replied "Miss Carrie, may I have a glass of water please?". Those kids are raised right. Apparently, however, I wasn't, since after forgetting Hayden's name I said "Oh, little one...Ginger!" Her mother fixed me with the steeliest gaze I'd ever seen and said solemnly "I forgive you. Once."

I must say, I'm enjoying my Country spice, even though I keep seeing more of the things that remind me that I know nothing out here.

My Christmas Vacation by Lisa

You know how in school, whenever you came back from a holiday you had to write an essay about it? My Easter Vacation, My Summer Vacation, My Best Birthday Ever. Well, here's mine, but unlike in school, i get to use pictures.

My Christmas vacation was awesome. It was the best ever because first of all, i didn't have to go school. I mean work. Also, i got to see my cousins who i almost never get to see. Never. And i got to see my cousin's son, my...second cousin? He gave me my first palm frond rose ever. He had it made at a party. I'd bet he's going to be a real charmer when he hits High School.

 And I have to say, I know that there are lots of you who think that I can't cook. I know that I joke about it, but the truth is, I can. And pretty well. I'm not a everyday cooker, and I'm not great at creating family meals, but I can do amazing things. Take for instance, at my cousin's house. My lovely cousin Karen has a strict no hassle policy for holiday cooking so there were no sweet ingredients in the house, except: yellow cake mix, can of cream cheese frosting, spray bottle of white cookie icing, multi-tube of sprinkles. One train-set cake pan later, I had this:

The cake overflowed a bit, so we made those into mountains. Then, after dying the icing red, green and brown (okay, chocolate, not dye), I made the mountains and let Zach decorate the trains.

That thing on the side is a house. And while you can't see it, we covered the whole thing with white sugar sprinkles as snow. I also made Whoopie cookies, though those came with a mix as well. There was no powdered sugar for the icing though, so I filled them with Cool Whip and froze them.

So yes, this is the moment I say "HA. SO can cook."

Also got to see my other cousin's baby. I think they'll need to buy one of those automatic vacuums to keep her busy when the new one come :)

 Finally, one of the biggest reasons that this Christmas vacation was AWESOME was because I got accepted into Grad School. In fact, I spent quite some time discussing my desperation with my cousin Scott--worrying that I'd never get in, and become a sad, pathetic, educational institution-stalker, who would throw everyone with a degree out of my mini-mart from sheer jealously. As soon as Scott left, I went up to check my email and I had a letter from the head of the Department of English Language & Literature saying that she was offering me a spot in the Medieval Studies program. I immediately ran downstairs to my cousin Jerry, who was taking a football nap after staying up til 4am working, and screamed "Hug me! Hug me!" all the way to tackling him on the couch. He looked pretty scared until I explained what was going on, at which point he picked me up and yelled with me. It's nice to have people to celebrate with you.

Christmas day was wonderful, with lots of presents sent from home, and lots from Sceth and Kerry (Scott/Beth, Jerry/Karen). I got my first tea steeper ever, with the loose tea and everything, and I got chocolate hand lotion. Actually, they pretty much bought out Ulta.

So that is why my Christmas vacation was awesome. I hope for lots of more awesome times with my fam and friends. The End. (And yes, I did include that at the end of all my essays)

I've been rereading my blog and have decided to let you all know what's changed, starting at my most recent post and going backwards:

I'm no longer strangely drawn to Twilight (except when I've got a really bad cold...)

We found the remote.

Nigel's back to sleeping on my bed (when he's not on my roommate's), I make fun of clients at work again (especially the really rude ones who treat you like an idiot), my lip has healed, and I don't play TextTwist anymore, therefore no more ert/inert problem.

I no longer view my Need to Know as a problem. Maybe I'll get a job as a PI...

My Dad...Nothing changed there.

Rolf no longer freaks me out. Sometimes, when I'm chatting with him about my life, I have a hard time remembering that he's a super-big star.

The fireflies have went! (ibid, for all my English majorly friends)

I have not been bruised, bled, or been pulled over for some time now.

While I still miss my family, new pictures make me happy now, like the ones of Kairi in a bunny suit and Talya with a BB stuck up her nose.

I went back to Ninety Six. This time, everybody at church greeted me by name and inquired after my life. This day also almost made its own post entitled "In which I get kissed by a midget".

I don't love my job anymore. It's a job now.

Perhaps thanks to a new counter which doesn't accentuate them, I haven't caught people staring at/taking pictures of my breasts for at least 2 months.

I don't think Mr. Point-Eleven-Karats is stupid. Just uninformed.

I no longer have to go to the laundromat. I do still want a maid.

I haven't been jogging (or been offered candy by a stranger) for a while.

I, a) again, no longer love my job and b) my Scottish friend stopped writing to me!

I don't really care about Chuck again.

I finally made it to Stake Conference! My first since moving here!

I am no longer Swiney. Swine-flu, that is, and therefore have not watched as many movies lately. Am still crazy about Merlin though....

Stopped reading cautionary tales since they make no impact in my life.

I have a tv now.

And finally, I know why they put the strips of sticky paper on the trees (to keep bugs from eating leaves, in case you were wondering).

Well, that's it. A backwards tale from my sideways life.

Hi. I'm Lisa.

I'm 27 years old--I'm not married, and I'm not really dating. My favorite books are fairy tales, and I'm desperately into Sci-Fi/Fantasy. I'm a Mormon, I love Ren Faires, violent movies make me cry, and sometimes I hide in small spaces when I can't handle being around people anymore. I believe in drawing energy from the earth, that talking about creepy things can invite them, and that electrical appliances perceptibly hum even when turned off. I truly don't find Dumb & Dumber funny, I hum loudly and talk to myself in public, hate the taste of bacon and frankly, I've never had a kiss that's made me figure out the big fuss is about.

Freak Flag, proudly wave.

Things That Make Me Happy

-People who have names like Breedlove. Wonder what their great-great-great-great grandparents did for a living? ;)

-People who pick up a pen, see that it's capped, look confused and then exchange it for an open one (this happens at my office all the time).

-Movies that start over again when they're done (we lost the remote at work).

-Lunch.

-Correctly identifying the undertones at Bath & Body.

-Salespeople who like their jobs.

-Giggling fits.

-Answering phones with an accent.


So, those are mine. What are yours?

Why doesn't inert have a negative, and other random updates.

So....Updates:

I can finally sleep better, since Nigel now has his own bed. After one trip to Michael's and an extra large laundry basket, he has a nice green pillow bed trimmed with long emerald ribbons and jade beads. I should mention that I was reading the Wizard of Oz when I made this. The benefits of the bed are threefold: 1) I no longer have to tape roll my bed every night, 2) I am apparently allergic to cats and it was making me stuffy and tired, and 3) He snores. Really, really loudly, and it's not quite so bad when he's not on my pillow.

I decided that I needed to stop making fun of clients in the back, because I'm getting a worse and worse attitude and it's not nice. I picked one heck of a day to do it. I wish I could tell you about the amazing specimins of people who came in today, but, as I tried to explain to an ex-boyfriend once, typing counts as talking. Maybe I'll include them in my memoirs, because memoirs are the place where "if you can't say something nice..." doesn't apply. Or maybe I'll become a standup comic.

As for this latest update, Mom, don't laugh! Remember in The Devil Wears Prada how the super hot coffee is "glacial"? And Annie askes the barristas to make it "Hot. Like center-of-the-sun hot"? That's how I normally like my beverages. Iron Mouth is an old nickname because I'm one of those very strange people who, while food may burn my fingers or my esaphagous, it won't do a thing my mouth. As I was eating lunch today (I blame the nasty, microwavable packaged crap that I was eating) I burned my lip. In fact, the very first bite felt like I had just tried to kiss a wood burning stove. I spit it out but the damage was done. We have no ice water in the office, so I sat there running cold tap water over it. Then I pulled a water out of the fridge in the lobby tried that. It did not help. In the meanwhile, I was developing 2 small blisters and a white spot. After trying to help a customer and wanting to scream in pain I realized that I was going to need some meds. Oddly enough for a refinery, we have no burn oinment here. But even if we had, as my pharmacy-school colleague pointed out to me, that stuff has (big long medical word) that kill body cells if ingested. So, despite the fact that I'm not really supposed to leave unless another manager is here, I drove across the street to the Rite Aid. When I spoke to the pharmasist he told me that "nothing would make it stop burning but ice", but that Aquafor would help it heal up real nicely, and yes, Orajel would work for the pain. I have two tubes of Aquafor at home but none at the office, so I did have to buy more, and after living with a Burn Unit nurse, I never put ice straight on burns. Thankfully, the Orajel is starting to take effect, but the odd puffy feeling is still there. My coworker's take was "I thought girls wanted those huge puffy lips", but as I pointed out, we prefer for them to be the same on both sides.

Last night I was sitting on the couch watching tv when Nigel climbed on my stomach and curled up all snuggly and squishy. At times like this, I thought, I want to have a baby. Then he kicked he me in the uterus twice, scratched me, fell off my lap, ate his dinner and amused himself with a nice nap. It was at times like those, I realized, that I'm glad I just have a cat.

On Rinkworks this last week, I was playing in the Fun With Words section and noticed that, among a few dozen others, "inert" has no positive form. Everytime I play TextTwist I try it, despite knowing that it never comes up. Private Benjamin (about to be remade, tagging Kate Hudson in lead) says it! "Most of them are inert. However, some are ert." That of course got me started on others. Like, why does regardless and irregardless mean the same thing? And what's the word for words that should rhyme by spelling but don't in pronounciation, like blood and food? I think that's the world's biggest cop out.

Avoir mes petits! A bientot!

Stay tuned for next week's: Why the Scarlet Pimpernel Is the Best Series Ever, and All That Entails.