Why doesn't inert have a negative, and other random updates.

So....Updates:

I can finally sleep better, since Nigel now has his own bed. After one trip to Michael's and an extra large laundry basket, he has a nice green pillow bed trimmed with long emerald ribbons and jade beads. I should mention that I was reading the Wizard of Oz when I made this. The benefits of the bed are threefold: 1) I no longer have to tape roll my bed every night, 2) I am apparently allergic to cats and it was making me stuffy and tired, and 3) He snores. Really, really loudly, and it's not quite so bad when he's not on my pillow.

I decided that I needed to stop making fun of clients in the back, because I'm getting a worse and worse attitude and it's not nice. I picked one heck of a day to do it. I wish I could tell you about the amazing specimins of people who came in today, but, as I tried to explain to an ex-boyfriend once, typing counts as talking. Maybe I'll include them in my memoirs, because memoirs are the place where "if you can't say something nice..." doesn't apply. Or maybe I'll become a standup comic.

As for this latest update, Mom, don't laugh! Remember in The Devil Wears Prada how the super hot coffee is "glacial"? And Annie askes the barristas to make it "Hot. Like center-of-the-sun hot"? That's how I normally like my beverages. Iron Mouth is an old nickname because I'm one of those very strange people who, while food may burn my fingers or my esaphagous, it won't do a thing my mouth. As I was eating lunch today (I blame the nasty, microwavable packaged crap that I was eating) I burned my lip. In fact, the very first bite felt like I had just tried to kiss a wood burning stove. I spit it out but the damage was done. We have no ice water in the office, so I sat there running cold tap water over it. Then I pulled a water out of the fridge in the lobby tried that. It did not help. In the meanwhile, I was developing 2 small blisters and a white spot. After trying to help a customer and wanting to scream in pain I realized that I was going to need some meds. Oddly enough for a refinery, we have no burn oinment here. But even if we had, as my pharmacy-school colleague pointed out to me, that stuff has (big long medical word) that kill body cells if ingested. So, despite the fact that I'm not really supposed to leave unless another manager is here, I drove across the street to the Rite Aid. When I spoke to the pharmasist he told me that "nothing would make it stop burning but ice", but that Aquafor would help it heal up real nicely, and yes, Orajel would work for the pain. I have two tubes of Aquafor at home but none at the office, so I did have to buy more, and after living with a Burn Unit nurse, I never put ice straight on burns. Thankfully, the Orajel is starting to take effect, but the odd puffy feeling is still there. My coworker's take was "I thought girls wanted those huge puffy lips", but as I pointed out, we prefer for them to be the same on both sides.

Last night I was sitting on the couch watching tv when Nigel climbed on my stomach and curled up all snuggly and squishy. At times like this, I thought, I want to have a baby. Then he kicked he me in the uterus twice, scratched me, fell off my lap, ate his dinner and amused himself with a nice nap. It was at times like those, I realized, that I'm glad I just have a cat.

On Rinkworks this last week, I was playing in the Fun With Words section and noticed that, among a few dozen others, "inert" has no positive form. Everytime I play TextTwist I try it, despite knowing that it never comes up. Private Benjamin (about to be remade, tagging Kate Hudson in lead) says it! "Most of them are inert. However, some are ert." That of course got me started on others. Like, why does regardless and irregardless mean the same thing? And what's the word for words that should rhyme by spelling but don't in pronounciation, like blood and food? I think that's the world's biggest cop out.

Avoir mes petits! A bientot!

Stay tuned for next week's: Why the Scarlet Pimpernel Is the Best Series Ever, and All That Entails.